I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just gargled with NyQuil
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