in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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