People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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