After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
