My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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