You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
