community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
