Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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