Whod you bang
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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