Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
