i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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