That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
