Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
