Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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