I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
