Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
