and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
