none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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