you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
