if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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