The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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