Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

my vagina has a 5:00 shadow

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(256): View more from Alabama

Did he leave or is he still there?

(334): View more from Alabama

He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.

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(713): View more from Texas

I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

Fav 29 2635 5115
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(913): View more from Kansas

Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?

Fav 7 1121 2046
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream

Fav 13 2895 894
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(720): View more from Colorado

Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.

Fav 9 2027 1042
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel

(603): View more from New Hampshire

Only you....

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