I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize