like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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