I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
