we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
