matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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