Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
