Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
