he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
