Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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