Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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