i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
