were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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