Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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