just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
