i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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