i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize