idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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