Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
