Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
