my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
