Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
