Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
