So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
