Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
