do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
