If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
