based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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