you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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