look no pants
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
