Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
