my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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