no, he came in my armpit
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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