Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
