Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
