That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize