CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
