I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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