Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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